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Wednesday, 23 April 2008

  • Emotion...

    I posted this as a blog a little over a year ago and I think it warrants re-posting.  Enjoy!

    The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot

    S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
    A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
    Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
    Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
    Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
    Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.

    Let us go then, you and I,
    When the evening is spread out against the sky
    Like a patient etherised upon a table;
    Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
    The muttering retreats
    Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
    And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
    Streets that follow like a tedious argument
    Of insidious intent
    To lead you to an overwhelming question. . .
    Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"
    Let us go and make our visit.

    In the room the women come and go
    Talking of Michelangelo.

    The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes
    The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
    Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening
    Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
    Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
    Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
    And seeing that it was a soft October night,
    Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

    And indeed there will be time
    For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
    Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
    There will be time, there will be time
    To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
    There will be time to murder and create,
    And time for all the works and days of hands
    That lift and drop a question on your plate;
    Time for you and time for me,
    And time yet for a hundred indecisions
    And for a hundred visions and revisions,
    Before the taking of a toast and tea.

    In the room the women come and go
    Talking of Michelangelo.

    And indeed there will be time
    To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
    Time to turn back and descend the stair,
    With a bald spot in the middle of my hair —
    [They will say: "How his hair is growing thin!"]
    My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
    My necktie rich and modest, but 
    asserted
    by a simple pin —
    [They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!"]
    Do I dare
    Disturb the universe?
    In a minute there is time
    For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

    For I have known them all already, known them all: —
    Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
    I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
    I know the voices dying with a dying fall
    Beneath the
    music from a father room
    .
    So how should I presume?

    And I have known the eyes already, known them all —
    The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
    And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
    When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
    Then how should I begin
    To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
    And how should I presume?

    And I have known the arms already, known them all —
    Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
    [But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
    Is it perfume from a dress
    That makes me so digress?
    Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
    And should I then presume?
    And how should I begin?

    . . . . .

    Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
    And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
    Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? . . .

    I should have been a pair of ragged claws
    Scuttling across the floors of silent seas. . . . . .

    And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
    Smoothed by long fingers,
    Asleep . . tired . . or it malingers,
    Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
    Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
    Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
    But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
    Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a
    platter,
    I am no prophet — and here's no great matter;
    I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
    And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
    And in short, I was afraid.

    And would it have been worth it, after all,
    After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
    Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
    Would it have been worth while,
    To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
    To have squeezed the universe into a ball
    To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
    To say: "I am Lazarus,
    come from the dead
    ,
    Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all" —
    If one, settling a pillow by her head,
    Should say, "That is not what I meant at all.
    That is not it, at all."

    And would it have been worth it, after all,
    Would it have been worth while,
    After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
    After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along
    the floor —
    And this, and so much more? —
    It is impossible to say just what I mean!
    But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
    Would it have been worth while
    If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
    And turning toward the window, should say:
    "That is not it at all,
    That is not what I meant, at all." . . . . .

    No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
    Am an attendant lord, one that will do
    To swell a progress, start a scene or two
    Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
    Deferential, glad to be of use,
    Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
    Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
    At times, indeed, almost ridiculous —
    Almost, at times, the Fool.

    I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
    I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

    Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
    I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
    I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

    I do not think they will sing to me.

    I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
    Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
    When the wind blows the water white and black.

    We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
    By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
    Till human voices wake us, and
    we drown.

Tuesday, 26 February 2008

  • Hurt...

    It's strange how pain killers make you feel.

    I have never really liked to take medicine, opting instead to let my body heal itself, but this time I think it's necessary.

    My leg still hurts, and it's been a week since I fell.

    Oh well.

    As my dad would say, "You've got another one."

    Thanks, Dad.

Wednesday, 13 February 2008

Wednesday, 09 January 2008

  • Love, Love...

    I had almost forgotten what it's like to be in love-those tingling feelings whenever I see him calling, always wanting to look pretty for him (even though he likes when I don't wear make-up), having a date on national holidays.

    It seems like so long ago I felt these things. 

    But this seems completely new to me, like nothing I have ever felt before.

    I could marry him.

    I will marry him.

    We are perfect for each other. 

    It so strange that you can go so long thinking that you will never find your soul mate, the one who completes you.

    And then one day....

    One awesome day...

    They just show up out of no where.

    And you know.

    Just like the penguins...

    You know that this is the person you've been looking for your whole life and now here he is, right in front of me.

    What do I do now?

    Take it one day at a time.

    One day at a time, for the rest of my life.

     

Monday, 31 December 2007

  • Come and gone...

    Christmas has come and gone.

    The new year approaches too fast for comfort.

    It has been an interesting holiday season.

    In some respects, it was awesome.  In others, it lacked what I have cherished in years past.

    Where does the Christmas Spirit go as we age?

    It seems to diminish a little bit more every year.

    Maybe once I have kids, that will all change.

    For now, I just revel in the fact that I got lots of cool shit.

SecretHarmonicEmotion

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    • Name: B
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 11/14/2007

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